To All the Mommas Doin’ it All

This time of year there is a lot to do. Mommas do it all.  This one is for you.  Remember, what they really want is YOU.

I see you Momma. You’re tired.  You have no makeup on, yesterdays jeans, and you could really use a coffee delivery person.

I know you didn’t sleep well last night. Your little sweety was sick, or teething, or afraid of the dark.  You back hurts from sleeping crooked and fitting your grown-up frame into 6-inches of mattress.

I know you are aching for 20 minutes by yourself to think your own thoughts. To just have ONE THOUGHT from start to finish. Maybe to make a phone call, read a book that is not found in the children’s section or say a prayer and ask your Creator to give you peace and direction.

Laundry? It’s clean, but it’s all piled up on the couch.

Dishes? I think there is one clean spoon.

Dust?  I can’t remember the last time I did that.

I see you Momma. Wrestling that toddler in the grocery store.  The one who is begging for a toy or grabbing all the sugary cereals off the shelf. The one who isn’t thrilled your passing up the potato chips for apples and the ice cream for yogurt.

I know your budget is tight.  I know there is no room for a special nicety like a bottle of nail polish, or a new hairbrush, or a sharp razor for your oh-so hairy legs.

I know you see those Pinterest pictures of freshly baked bread and feel guilty that your kids are eating Goldfish crackers for breakfast….again.

I know you think you should be making “me time,” and that’s just another thing that tells you that you maybe aren’t living your “best” life.

Workout? Maybe.
Veggies? Sometimes.
8 glasses of water? Never.

I know you have a secret desire to write a book, to sing a song, to paint a picture, to go for a run.

I know you had a career before the babies came.

I know you have some regrets, but the babies aren’t them.

Momma.

Do you know how valuable you are?  Not for cleaning and cooking. Not for changing dirty diapers, not for clipping toenails.

But valuable.

Do you know that you provide security, peace and gentleness in a world that is very unpredictable, chaotic and angry.

You answer the questions.
Calm the fears.
Acknowledge the accomplishments.

You laugh at the silliness.
You give affection.
You teach right from wrong.

Don’t worry about the dust, the unbaked bread, the pile of clothes.

They really aren’t looking.  They don’t care.

They just want you to run the car down the ramp, one more time.
To turn on the music loud and dance silly.
To let them play with bubbles in the sink.
Or make a craft, or jump on the bed, or….

Momma.  They love you.  Just the way you are.
And that’s enough for today.

 

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Secrets Homeschool Moms Keep

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Every homeschool mom has a secret…or two. You know, things she doesn’t talk about in normal conversation and especially NOT with people who don’t homeschool for fear they would not understand, or even worse, judge.
I do. You do.
Things we are a little bit ashamed of about our homeschooling journey.  I have experienced or felt all of the things we are about to discuss at some point during my homeschool journey (5 years).
The purpose of writing about it here is so that we can bring things out in the open and remind ourselves to not be ashamed of things we don’t need to be.  Also, by sharing our feelings, moms, we can get help!

My kids act like they hate school

I have said this before…I thought when I began to homeschool, my kids would be so appreciative of my efforts on a daily basis, that they would sit down, ready for school each morning with smiles on their faces.
Ha!
I know. It sounds silly.
They don’t. They still complain about school, give me a hard time, whine and resist doing work.
I had to realize…they are KIDS. Kids do that.  It’s not your fault.  It happens.  What matters is how you handle it. But don’t be surprised when it happens.

Sometimes I don’t feel like doing school… for like for a week or two

I get tired of the school routine.  I am a bit of a wander-lust, so after 2 or 3 months of the same routines and expectations…I get really bored. I need something different and interesting.   That’s who I am . That’s not wrong.  You, after all, are HUMAN, mom. You have needs too.
I have learned that if I go “school-lite” for a few days it helps tremendously. I make sure I get refreshed, it gives me new perspective and the kids can a break too.

My kids can be a little ‘weird’ sometimes

My kids get excited about some things.  Like Mario and Minecraft, like the latest Youtube video they have seen about the “Secrets of Cats.”   They want to talk about it. A lot.  It can be off-putting to me…as well as their public school friends. Because, not surprisingly, their friends have other interests.
My older son is also completely capable of holding a debate (politics!) or discussion (the merits of all the game systems since the 1980’s) with any adult.  Adults can be a little weirded-out by this. It’s actually a GREAT thing that he has this skill. And I always appreciate the adult who engages him and reacts with pleasure.

I have regrets about homeschooling or I feel like a failure

I wish that had done more outside stuff when they were young.  I wish that I had spent more time in the Bible. I wish that I had focused more on writing.
If you have spent ANY time at all homeschooling, you have regrets and wishes.  Things you wish you had done more or better.
All homeschool moms have this list.
I have felt like a failure…in many areas, mathematics, discipline, diligence… the list goes on.  But when I look back I try to focus on the things we DID accomplish.  The trips we have taken, the artistic creations that have made, and yes, even the math and language arts concepts we have pushed through
If you need help…ask for it.  There are so many moms out there that have surmounted the same challenges you are struggling with whether it’s writing, division, reading, science, and daily routines.

Sometimes I am lonely or sometimes I get sick of being at home all the time

Being at home with your kids all day long can lose it’s appeal when you really need some grown-up time. It also takes dedicated to work to keep up friendships. You have needs, and it’s perfectly understandable to express them and seek out ways to meet them.
Sometimes when my husband comes home from work, I run away (to Target)  because I need to out of the house! Just to SEE something different from my four walls lightens my mood and refreshes me.  Maybe for you it’s a long walk, or working out, or listening to music  or going for a long drive.
We need friendships. We need friends who homeschool and who don’t.  We need women to talk to about our parenting challenges, to say “Am I crazy??” to and to receive support from.  Don’t isolate!
I have really found some great friends at the children’s section in the the local library when I was there with the kids. I also am part of several support-type groups online. And then I have a group who I go out with.

We don’t mean to keep secrets.  But we feel ashamed. Don’t worry, you are in good company – every homeschooler has these thoughts and feelings.  You are not alone.

 

Evaluating Your School Year

We have FOUR MORE WEEKS of school left (I know!) and I am shifting into the mode of wrapping up subject matter and thinking about how the year went. In general, I think the year went well.

This is our 5th year schooling from home, and to be honest, I never thought we would get this far. It took me so long to decide to homeschool, and then, after I began, one of things that gave me comfort was the thought that “I can stop at anytime.”  There were days where I thought: “What am I doing?” and even this year I have considered throwing in the towel. But here I am.

This is a great time for you to evaluate how your year went.

Let’s go back to the beginning of the year.

I have started making goals for both of my boys at the beginning of each year. This helps me have loose (and I like them really loose) expectations for them.

For my both my 4th and 7th graders, I set personal goals, spiritual and academic goals at the beginning of the year and about three weeks ago, I took a look to make sure we did some of them.

Let’s talk about them in further detail.

Academically speaking, I wanted my 7th grader to strengthen his skills in the areas of division, fractions and decimal work.  We were able to get to the first two in earnest, but just touch on the last one.  I also felt strongly that I needed to start exposing him to engineering science and until about 3 weeks ago, I had no idea how we were going to get there. Then a fellow homeschooler invited my boys to participate in this program run through the Department of Defense called Starbase. Both of my boys had a week-long experience using Computer Aided Drafting and Design applications and learning about the engineering design process.

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For my 4th grader, I wanted him to improve his writing skills. He has dysgraphia, so writing in general is super tough and exhausting.  I employed a tutor one time a week this year to help him answer comprehension questions and write.  He has done a lot more this year than he would have with me alone.  And to my shagrin, he writes a lot more with her, than me.  At least it’s getting done.  She does use CANDY as a reward.

I also wanted him to start writing cursive and we just began that about 4 weeks ago.

Spiritually speaking, I wanted the younger to start praying out loud and I wanted my 7th grader to start having his own, individual time with God. He now reads every night before he starts his nighttime routine.

Some things that didn’t happen…and yes, there are definitely a few…

I wanted my 7th grader to write a biographical paper. We started to…but I don’t think we will finish it in time.

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One side note, is that although we didn’t set it as a goal, we read A LOT this year. We pushed through a ton of books and audio books.  Insert happy face.

Time to evaluate! How do you feel like your kids did?  What did they improve in? What do they need to make continual progress in?