chores · clutter · declutter · goals · homemaking · Mommas · organizing · Uncategorized

What Does Decluttering Mean Exactly? (And Why You Should Do it)

It’s January, so naturally, the whole world is talking about decluttering their homes.  The stores have gone from being stocked with Christmas decorations to being filled to the brim with plastic totes, drawers, and bins.

Everyone is decluttering.

What does this mean exactly?

Decluttering if the act of going through one’s home to remove items which are unused and unneeded. It may be sorting out your tightly packed bedroom closet, cleaning out your garage or donating things that you think you will probably never use again.

So why do folks do this? 

There are many different reasons. 

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Many people say their motivation is to bring more peace into their home. 
While others say they feel that they are owned by their belongings – and that they have so many, they cannot manage them all.
Some feel that they are anxious and depressed in their own living spaces.

But…

An ever growing population of declutterers are moms of young children who have been overwhelmed by piles and piles of plastic toys and tiny bits and pieces that cannot be easily maintained.

Whatever the motivation, people are looking for change, and they are starting with their living environments.

It is a proven fact that living in a cluttered home actually causes mental health issues. There are endless articles online that will tell you why being surrounded by clutter increases anxiety and depression, and causes the person involved to lose focus and become unable to make choices.

I have felt all those feelings.

“Things themselves don’t make us happy, it’s the emotions and memories we attach to them that make them hard to part with.”

In my own home, we have too many toys, too many unfinished projects, piles of things older family members have either gifted to us and/or passed down to us, and then the other stuff that we actually really like.

It’s a big mess a lot of the time.

I had an a-ha moment recently when I said to myself, “Why can’t I keep the house clean?” Now, I am not an inspired cleaner, but I clean everyday. And I often find myself stuck putting things away… more than actually cleaning. 

I realized that we have too much stuff

There is just too much to manage.

So we have begun to declutter.

Today we put 12 boxes in the garage to be donated.

It feels great. And it’s just the beginning.

I am learning that:

  • Things themselves don’t make us happy, it’s the emotions and memories we attach to them that make them hard to part with.
  • Being surrounded by things actually decreases my ability to think clearly and causes anxiety and sadness.
  • Being surrounded by things doesn’t make me feel satisfied or filled up.
  • The quantity of things I have in my home actually decrease my general sense of happiness and control over my space.
  • Things don’t have feelings.  They don’t care if they stay or go.  It’s us that have to deal with our feelings of attachment and perceived loss.

Is decluttering one of your goals for 2018?  How is it going?

  • Jenny

 

Photo credit: Eric Didier and Markus Spiske

 

 

 

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chores · cleaning · clutter · homemaking

What if You and Your Spouse Have Different Cleaning Styles?

What if you and your spouse have different cleaning styles?

If you are smirking, then you already know exactly what I mean.  But, just in case you are not sure, let’s talk about cleaning styles.

The wife, let’s call her “Susan” likes quantity over quality.  She wants every room picked up by the time she is done, but, isn’t looking for every single thing to be 100 percent perfect.

Her husband, let’s call him “Bill,” is the opposite. He prefers to hunker down in one room and spend three hours there, getting it clean from top to bottom.

Alright, you guessed it.  My husband and I are Susan and Bill. 

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I tend to treat the house like a three layer cake.

First I go all over the house on the top layer, picking up clutter, putting things away, wiping off counters, etc. Then, and only then, do I go on to the next layer and so forth.

Pros: This type of cleaning gives the cleaner immediate satisfaction.  It’s more bang for the buck.

Cons: Susan NEVER gets to the bottom of the pile.  She will be lucky if she can ever get to the nitty-gritty of a room.

Bill’s style (my husband) is good too, although different.  Instead of starting on the top layer of the cake, he chooses a place to start and dives into all three layers at once, slowly making his way through.

Pros: It is extremely thorough! (And looks so good in the end!)

Cons: It takes a LONG TIME and if he is pressed for time, he cannot finish and it causes frustration.

There are other styles of cleaning too:

The follow-the-list cleaner. This person has a list. She follows her list and then she is done.  No more, no less.  She can wait to do the other things tomorrow.

The anxiety cleaner. This person sees something that needs to be cleaned and starts to clean it, but then sees something else that needs to be cleaned and gets distracted by it.

The let-it-pile-up cleaner.  This person has things organized, sort of.  Piles are everywhere and when, and only when, the pile becomes a problem, they address it.

The cleaning as therapy/exercise person.  This person cleans to keep themselves sane (or fit). They throw the vacuum around like it’s a rag, they haul the soapy water through the house with ease, they move boxes with all their strength…just don’t get in their way, because you will be trampled or conscripted into working.

Which one are you? Which one is your spouse? 

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So, what is the result of different cleaning styles coming together?  After being married for more than twenty years, I can tell you: arguments.

I confess to looking at my husband 45 minutes after we started cleaning one Saturday (or several) and allowing my impatience to come flying out of my mouth.  Quantity-wise, I had accomplished MORE in that 45 minutes. But quality-wise he had accomplished more.

When we plan a cleaning time (or home repair, because it come up then as well), I have to consciously choose to not critique him and not compare.

I didn’t know this when we first got married.  We got into some serious bumps on cleaning  days during the first years (ten?) of our marriage because I would say: “What have you been DOING??” The unhappy result of that was that he felt bossed around and criticized.

And even worse, the cleaning stopped! (kidding..sorta)

As the years have gone, I have learned to seen the value in his style of cleaning.  And most likely if you and your spouse do it differently too, there is some good to his way of doing things. 

But, I have had to CHOOSE to not push my style of cleaning on him. 
I have had to learn to see the value in his style. 
I have had to accept that maybe not all the things will get done in the time I thought they would.

And that’s o.k.

I see now that when he leaves a room, it looks stunning. Shiny, organized and peaceful, just the way I want it to.  So, really, why am I complaining?

I’ll be honest, probably because I am impatient!
I am quick, he is methodical. It comes down to that.

If you and your partner have different cleaning styles, I would encourage you NOT to allow it to come between you and for you to attempt to see the value in the other persons’ style.

Rather, choose to focus on the fact that you are lucky he is willing to help, as not all husbands are.

And always, remember:

“Cleaning with kids in the house,
is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.”

Jenny

chores · cleaning · clutter · declutter · homemaking · Uncategorized

How to Regain Control of Your Home After Christmas

It’s December 27, and if you are like me, you are looking around your house and saying: “HOW do I get this place under control again??”

The parties are over, the big meals have been prepped and eaten, the gifts are unwrapped and many played with..and now what is left?

Boxes, bags, bows, scotch tape everywhere, packaging of hastily ripped open toys, dishes, dishes and dishes, and no actually edible food in the house, the cat has a bow stuck to its tail, the dog ate something he shouldn’t have and you think one of your relatives was sick and passed it to one of your kids…

I know you know what I mean.

So what is a mom to do?

Let’s talk through some ideas on how to regain control of your living space again…QUICKLY.

Separate everyone’s gifts into piles.
Each of us currently has a pile from which to draw from.  It may be a mixture of stocking stuffers, gifts and other items, but it’s their pile. There are a few advantages to this:
-It’s all in one place
-They know where it all is
-And when it’s time to say clean it up and put it away, they can do it more easily

Get rid of trash – NOW!
JUST by removing the actual trash from the home (we threw out 4 garbage bags in the last 2 days) you can get a better grip on what actually needs to be done. And it feels so, so good….

Require children to pitch in.
TODAY ask them to devote some time to putting away their own messes, picking up trash, and regaining control of their own space.  It will help to “own” their belongings, it will assist them in thinking about where they want something to go, and it will (rightfully so) put some of the ownership on them! (Mine are doing it as I write this post.)

Hack away at the dishes.
Even if you do it in little bursts all day.  Have the dishwasher running all day if need be. No one like to do dishes (or maybe some of you do??), but, someone is going to come looking for a spoon or a bowl before you know it.

Make a clutter box.
As you move through the home you may notice normal, irritating clutter.  Make a box.  Then decide today isn’t the day for you to feel burdened by it. It’s really not.

After you finish cleaning (or even while you are cleaning) you may say to yourself: “Never again!” I am never doing this again.  But…you know you will.  At least you have 12 more months to get ready for it.

Last piece of advice: drink plenty of coffee (or tea) as you prefer.  You’re gonna need it mama!

From your sister in cleaning today, Jenny

 

chores · cleaning · clutter · goals · homemaking · Mommas · stay home or not? · Uncategorized

To All the Mommas Doin’ it All

mommasstressedandtired.jpgThis time of year there is a lot to do. Mommas do it all.  This one is for you.  Remember, what they really want is YOU.

I see you Momma. You’re tired.  You have no makeup on, yesterdays jeans, and you could really use a coffee delivery person.

I know you didn’t sleep well last night. Your little sweety was sick, or teething, or afraid of the dark.  You back hurts from sleeping crooked and fitting your grown-up frame into 6-inches of mattress.

I know you are aching for 20 minutes by yourself to think your own thoughts. To just have ONE THOUGHT from start to finish. Maybe to make a phone call, read a book that is not found in the children’s section or say a prayer and ask your Creator to give you peace and direction.

Laundry? It’s clean, but it’s all piled up on the couch.

Dishes? I think there is one clean spoon.

Dust?  I can’t remember the last time I did that.

I see you Momma. Wrestling that toddler in the grocery store.  The one who is begging for a toy or grabbing all the sugary cereals off the shelf. The one who isn’t thrilled your passing up the potato chips for apples and the ice cream for yogurt.

I know your budget is tight.  I know there is no room for a special nicety like a bottle of nail polish, or a new hairbrush, or a sharp razor for your oh-so hairy legs.

I know you see those Pinterest pictures of freshly baked bread and feel guilty that your kids are eating Goldfish crackers for breakfast….again.

I know you think you should be making “me time,” and that’s just another thing that tells you that you maybe aren’t living your “best” life.

Workout? Maybe.
Veggies? Sometimes.
8 glasses of water? Never.

I know you have a secret desire to write a book, to sing a song, to paint a picture, to go for a run.

I know you had a career before the babies came.

I know you have some regrets, but the babies aren’t them.

Momma.

Do you know how valuable you are?  Not for cleaning and cooking. Not for changing dirty diapers, not for clipping toenails.

But valuable.

Do you know that you provide security, peace and gentleness in a world that is very unpredictable, chaotic and angry.

You answer the questions.
Calm the fears.
Acknowledge the accomplishments.

You laugh at the silliness.
You give affection.
You teach right from wrong.

Don’t worry about the dust, the unbaked bread, the pile of clothes.

They really aren’t looking.  They don’t care.

They just want you to run the car down the ramp, one more time.
To turn on the music loud and dance silly.
To let them play with bubbles in the sink.
Or make a craft, or jump on the bed, or….

Momma.  They love you.  Just the way you are.
And that’s enough for today.

 

chores · homemaking · homeschool solutions · homeschooling · library · Mommas · toddlers

When Your Day Doesn’t Go As You Planned

It is partly my fault and partly just the way things worked out, but today didn’t go as planned.

I say my fault because I know I was lacking in self-discipline and I slept too long and didn’t start my morning routine on time.

But, things didn’t unfold the way I had expected either.

Have you ever had one of those days?

My main goals of the day was to make sure the kids did a good size amount of school work and to get my 2-year-old to his weekly library visit.

I was running behind. It was already 10:30 am and I wanted to get him to the library.  I got dressed and him dressed and changed his pull-up(joy).  Then we proceeded to spend the next half an hour looking for a complete set of shoes.

We had one shoe of both his pairs. One sneaker and one cowboy boot.

:/

I had both other kids looking too (impatiently because they know when I go out they can pay video games). They pooped out on looking pretty quickly leaving me to scrounge closets and look under couches.

After a running around the house with my winter coat on (getting hot), and frustrated because there isn’t an actual PAIR of shoes to put on him, I gave up.

I put him in the car and drove to Target.  

I went to Target reasoning that, after all, I had to get coffee, so I might as well get his winter boots too.

Yeah, I was the mom strolling around her 2 year old in cart with no.shoes.on.

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After we found some boots, he began to get really moody and grumpy.  But that didn’t stop me from buying a whole bunch of other stuff that I probably should have used coupons for and bought only when they were on sale.

Then he fell asleep in the car.

We never got to the library.

Happily, when I did get home the older boys had started school.

Day gets back on track? No.

Our internet pooped out in the middle of school.

So, I had to get on the phone with them and figure that out (which I did not resolve and they are coming out tomorrow).

While I was on the phone on hold I was trying to teach my 5th grader the different properties of matter.

Yes, you read that correctly.

“Ma’am, may I have the model of your modem please?”

“Density, son. D-E-N-S-I-T-Y.”

“Ma’am?”

My day didn’t go as planned.

But in the middle of Target, as I was walking toward the shoe section, with a quick detour at Starbucks, I decided something.

Instead of longing for a day I had expected, I was going to embrace the day I was given. I had a quick talk with God, and I said, “God, things aren’t going the way I wanted them to. What are you trying to tell me? Whatever it is, I will thank you for the day and do my best with it.”

I decided I would take the day as it came.  That I would not lament over goals undone, chores put off, school done through distractions…

I decided to roll with it.  I said, “Show me Lord what YOUR plan is today.”

That is so hard to do as moms. It’s so hard to let go of all the hopes we had for the day, and just BE with them, however that may look.

I did get to the library later in the day.

They did some school.

Tonight we are watching a movie together.

Do you think I will ever find those shoes?

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budgeting · chores · cleaning · organizing · Uncategorized

How Many Clothes Do You Really Need?

Friends of mine were laughing at this post put up by Muddled Up Mommy.

Some reactions were astonishment, others were totally in agreement.  What do you think?

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In our house, laundry is on-going.  There is always a basket going into the washer and a basket that needs to be put away.  And we still end up with no clean pajamas in the evening!

I am beginning to think we have too many clothes actually.  Just TOO MANY OPTIONS.

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So what’s a mom to do? Research of course!

How much laundry do we really need?

Living on a Dime has taken the time to figure it all out: How Many Clothes Do I Need?

If you’re a stay at home mom, Laura at This Felicitous Life has come up with a list of her own.

Let’s talk about kids.  They grow so fast that it seems like you always have to have clothes in reserve just in case!

Keeper of the Home lays out (pardon the pun) her kids clothes and describes what they have and what they don’t really need: How Many Clothes Do Kids Really Need?

Actual Mom describes her large family’s wardrobe need in her piece: How Many Clothes Do my Kids Really Need?

The Purposeful Mom conducted a laundry experiment.  You will want to read all about it here.

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Let’s face it, in America, we have so much stuff, in general. Clothes are cheap and made cheaply and it’s therefore no surprise we are drowning in laundry which costs us money in water, soap and WASTED TIME (the most important thing!)

  • Jenny

 

 

chores · cleaning · homemaking · organizing

Free Download: Daily Scheduling

As school is approaching, I am starting to get a little more organized.

Because we homeschool, this can get a little tricky.  There is quite a lot I would like to get in during the day: school and non-school related.

We parents are busy!

Feel free to download and print…below!

Daily schedule template

 

 

chores · cleaning · clutter

Creating Joy in Your Home

Ever have one of those trying days?  When parenting the kids resembles something more like herding cats or trying to hold sand? When silly, annoying things are overblown, when children aren’t listening, when the world seems to be conspiring against your home being a relaxed,happy place?

I have. Like plenty, ladies.

Sometimes I handle them in a righteous, Godly way, and sometimes I just go with what feels good and yell or punish, willy-nilly.

I don’t just want a happy home.  I want a home filled with JOY.

Let me clarify what that means.  That doesn’t mean everyone is walking around with a fake, plastered smile on their faces. But it does mean there are special, cozy places where everyone can get some quite, it means things are organized, it means disagreements can be discussed (calmly if possible!), and there is a sense of family unity; that despite what happens, we are a family and we will love each other and nurture that loving relationship.

But, many of us spend our days putting out fires.  If it’s not one kid with a need, it’s a another.  Or, a fight, or whining, or complaining, or…you get the picture.

Definitely NOT joy!

Why do our homes become this way?  Why do we find ourselves in the middle of the third battle of the day by 9 a.m.?  There are tons and tons of reasons, but I wanted to discuss just a few in this piece.

With my children, and maybe with yours too, the more free time they have on their hands, the more they argue with one another. One or both of them become bored and starts irritating the other one for sheer entertainment. “I was kidding,” he says to his annoyed brother.  But really, he was probably was looking for something from his brother: connection and direction.

My kids have a so-called playroom.  It has been a blessing as far as keeping most of the toys in one place, BUT, it can also become a dungeon of negativity for my boys if they are in there too long.

So

chores · organizing

Eyes wide open…

Ok, I want you to know that I am not going into this daydreaming about hours alone or watching tv all day. I realize that I may get sick to death of seeing my house and it’s 80 year old cracks and creaks, it’s grubby bathtub, persistently clanky iron radiators, weedy lawn…
I think I am going into “staying at home” eyes wide open.
I know about being lonely in a house all day even though you are surrounded by kids, I know about getting tired of talking baby talk and wanting to see something on the tv besides Wow Wow Wubzy or Backyardigans.
Regardless, I’ll take my chances.
I also know some of my weaknesses…say for example not being a real ‘structure’ person. Luckily, I recognize that and I try to impress it on myself regardless of the fact it doesn’t come natural. There are numerous websites that can offer assistance (a few of which I will put at the bottom on this blog entry) if you are willing to make some changes. I truly admire my homeschooling mom friends…you are amazing!
Also, I don’t like to clean. You may be surprised. You may think a stay at homer must have a innate desire to clean, clean, clean. No. I think that it actually is an assumption a lot of folks make that is not true. I am going to have to really figure that one out won’t I? (advice please?)
I would like to ask you alll: How do you get it all done? How much of a structure do you use? Any tricks to chores?
Here are those links I promised…God bless!
http://www.thefamilyhomestead.com
http://www.mommysavers.com
http://www.containerstore.com