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Secrets Homeschool Moms Keep

Shhhh!

Every homeschool mom has a secret…or two. You know, things she doesn’t talk about in normal conversation and especially NOT with people who don’t homeschool for fear they would not understand, or even worse, judge.

I do. You do.

Things we are a little bit ashamed of about our homeschooling journey.  I have experienced or felt all of the things we are about to discuss at some point during my homeschool journey (6 years).

The purpose of writing about it here is so that we can bring things out in the open and remind ourselves to not be ashamed of things we don’t need to be.  Also, by sharing our feelings, moms, we can get help!

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My kids sometimes act like they hate school

I have said this before…I thought when I began to homeschool, my kids would be so appreciative of my efforts on a daily basis, that they would sit down, ready for school each morning with smiles on their faces.

Ha!

I know. It sounds silly.

They don’t. They still complain about school, give me a hard time, whine and resist doing work.  No every lesson is a winner.

I had to realize…they are KIDS. Kids do that.  It’s not your fault.  It happens.  What matters is how you handle it. But don’t be surprised when it happens. They have shifting moods, just like we do, so each day may be a new box of candy (to quote Forest Gump).

Sometimes I don’t feel like doing school… for like for a week or two

I get tired of the school routine.  I am a bit of a wander-lust, so after 2 or 3 months of the same routines and expectations…I get really bored. I need something different and interesting.   That’s who I am . That’s not wrong.  You, after all, are HUMAN, mom. You have needs too.

I have learned that if I go “school-lite” for a few days it helps tremendously. I make sure I get refreshed, it gives me new perspective and the kids can a break too.

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My kids can be a little ‘weird’ sometimes

My kids get excited about some non-mainstream things.  Like Mario and Minecraft, like the latest Youtube video they have seen about the “Secrets of Cats”, like designing their own Dungeons and Dragons game.

They want to talk about it. A lot.  It can be off-putting to me…as well as their public-school friends.  Because, not surprisingly, their friends have other interests.

My older son is also completely capable of holding a debate (politics!) or discussion (the merits of all the game systems since the 1980’s) with any adult.  Adults can be a little weirded-out by this.

It’s actually a GREAT thing that he has this skill. And I always appreciate the adult who engages him and reacts with pleasure.

Your kids may have interests too that their public-school peers don’t even know about (and, of course, visa-versa). It’s ok!

“If you have spent ANY time at all homeschooling,
you have regrets and wishes.”

I have regrets about homeschooling and sometimes I feel like a failure

I wish that had done more outside stuff when they were young.  I wish that I had spent more time in the Bible. I wish that I had focused more on writing.

If you have spent ANY time at all homeschooling, you have regrets and wishes.  Things I wish I had done more or better or longer or more ….. the list goes on.

All homeschool moms have this list.

I have felt like a failure…in many areas, mathematics, discipline, diligence… the list goes on.

But when I look back I try to focus on the things we DID accomplish.  The trips we have taken, the artistic creations that have made, and yes, even the math and language arts concepts we have pushed through.

If you need help…ask for it.  There are so many moms out there that have surmounted the same challenges you are struggling with whether it’s writing, division, reading, science, and daily routines.

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“Sometimes when my husband comes home from work,
I literally run away because I need to out of the house!”

Sometimes I am lonely or sometimes I get sick of being at home all-the-time

Being at home with your kids all day long can lose it’s appeal when you really need some grown-up time.

It also takes dedicated to work to keep up friendships. You have needs, and it’s perfectly understandable to express them and seek out ways to meet them.

Sometimes when my husband comes home from work, I literally run away (to Target) because I need to out of the house! Just to SEE something different from my four walls lightens my mood and refreshes me.  Maybe for you it’s a long walk, or working out, or listening to music  or going for a long drive.

We need friendships. We need friends who homeschool and who don’t.  We need women to talk to about our parenting challenges, to say “Am I crazy??” to and to receive support from.  Don’t isolate!

I have really found some nice friends at the children’s section in the the local library when I was there with the kids. I also am part of several support-type groups online. And then I have a group who I go out with.

Secrets.

We don’t mean to keep secrets.  But we feel ashamed or disappointed about some things. Don’t worry, you are in good company – every homeschooler has these thoughts and feelings.  You are not alone.

Jenny

 

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19 thoughts on “Secrets Homeschool Moms Keep

  1. This is true for all stay-at-home moms, not just homeschooling ones! I often find myself running into the bedroom when hubby comes home because I just need some space from my toddler and my work computer. But what I really need is to get out of the house for a few hours; I don’t make this a priority during my week and so it ends up looking like I’m having a mental breakdown from cabin fever. I guess we all, including our kids, need to have some mental health days built in here and there to maintain our sanity!

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  2. I do not homeschool my children but I always wished I could have. Homeschooling parents seem like they have it all together, all the time. Thank you for showing me parents, regardless of whether they homeschool or not, have the same struggles and aspirations.

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  3. I homeschooled off and on. One thing I learned it that sometimes I could teach one of my kids but not another. With six kids we really had to tailor their educations individually. Great inclusive and authentic post!

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  4. These are the exact things I’m fearful of if we decide homeschooling is the correct path for our children. I’m so glad you brought them to light. Please, please don’t feel bad that your kids aren’t mainstream. My kids go to public schools and they aren’t mainstream. Both my boys LOVE Mario. They watch YouTube tutorials on playing video games (parental approved). And my oldest would spend HOURS on Minecraft if we let him. ❤ Thank you for being vulnerable and real!

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  5. I can add the additional insight as the wife to a homeschool dad – sometimes I’m jealous of him! I wish I was the one homeschooling the kids. But that’s not God’s path for us. I have also seen all of the above areas with him as well.

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  6. As a fellow homeschooling mom, I so agree. But all of these are some of the reasons why homeschooling is a blessing. We can be flexible, free to do what is best for our children, shape hearts, and develop kids with different interests. We NEED community and breaks. And to remember that we are sinners raising sinners. It’s not always pretty!

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